I totally remember that day, about 10 years ago, when I walked into the local public library and spotted it. I don't recall the initial reason for the trip, but I do recall heading to the VHS movie section and deciding to pick up a couple films. This was when my obsession with swinging 60's fashion was peaking so I instinctively searched for titles that looked somewhat mod. That's when I saw Cactus Flower. I had never heard of it, but the cover, with a bell-bottoms bedecked Goldie Hawn dancing with that messy blonde shag, sold me. So I happily borrowed it and took it home with me where I watched it. And watched it. And watched it. I think over the course of the two-day borrow period I watched it three times. I just fell in love.
The basic plotline? Toni (Goldie Hawn) is dating Julian (Walter Matthew), a much older bachelor dentist who has told her that he is already married as a way to not get too involved. But when Julian does decide to marry Toni (after her half-hearted failed suicide attempt), she insists on meeting his wife first. Ingrid Bergman plays his nurse who, smitten herself with the dentist, reluctantly agrees to play the part of his wife. As you'd expect, hilarity ensues, most of it from a bunch of nifty one-liners. Upon returning the video to the library, I immediately ran out and bought myself a copy.

The movie itself is cute and sweet (Goldie did win a Best Supporting Oscar for her performance). But it's not brilliant by any means. Still, I was mesmerized, mostly due to the adorably nutty Goldie who couldn't have been any cuter. I'd always really liked her (on more than one occassion people have told me I remind them of her) but I fell in love during Cactus Flower. Toni sort of had the life that I aspired to: she lived in New York's Greenwich Village in her own studio apartment, worked in a hip record shop, and had the most enviable 60's wardrobe of
miniskirts, knee-high boots, and switched-on dresses. Not that I wanted to be a record shop clerk or date a dentist, but I did yearn for the swell apartment, the closet full of fun clothes, and the nights out dancing at the discoteque (not to mention the cute next-door-neighbor boy she also had). Basically, she was spirited, independent, sassy, and free-thinking. She lived her life on her own terms. And eventually I did get these things, one by one. My minidress and vintage boot collection slowly grew and I started taking photos of Goldie circa '68 to the hairdresser. I moved to New York to pursue my career, where several nights a week I went dancing (my very favorite pastime). I suffered through numerous wretched roommate situations as I moved about 6 times during my first three years in the city. However, I always had my copy of Cactus Flower in my hand (or suitcase) and I'd watch it whenever I needed to cheer up (which was often). When I was finally so fed up with roommates that I decided to go it alone (even if it meant eating nothing but Ramen noodles), I quickly found a (surprisingly) affordable studio apartment in Brooklyn. It wasn't perfect, but it didn't suck and it was clean, but all that mattered was that it was all mine. I quickly took the opportunity to kit out my new bachelorette pad in the style of Toni's digs: flower power artwork and accouterments, mod table lamps, and tons and tons of mismatched throw pillows (I made sure to have one that was furry since Toni had one). We both even had butterfly chairs. Yeah, I guess I'm kind of dorky that way.

I've now been living alone for as long as I was living with roommates and those days seem like light-years ago. I now live in a bigger apartment (which means more room for more clothes and throw pillows). I've let my hair grow out into a nifty bob (more like Goldie circa '70). And after several years living in bell-bottoms, I've started dressing up more and adding mini dresses back into the mix. I still own that Cactus Flower video and watch it about once every so often when I'm feeling down (though I'm thinking soon I'll be splurging for the DVD). It still makes me smile. I guess the only thing really missing now to complete my own Cactus Flower life is the cute next-door-neighbor boy.