Birds of a Feather

August 2006

Birds of a Feather
The Beginner's Guide to Identifying the Hip
Words & Illustrations by S. Appel

Hipster wasn't always the negative word it is today. Born back in the Jazz Age to refer to hepcats who were forward thinkers in art, fashion, and music, it was only recently that people started using it in a derogatory way (in the 60's, the Yardbirds even popularized the classic blues stomper "Train Kept a-Rollin'", where they sang about a girl who "was a hipster...and a real cool dame, she was pretty, from New York City"). More recently, the third generation mod revival of the 90's, followed by the 2001 success of the quintessential "downtown cool" band the Strokes, brought hipsterdom to the consciousness of capitalism. But with the mainstreaming of the underground (and like goth, grunge, and skate culture before it), typically "hipster" styles (ironic tees, skinny punk jeans, slouchy boots, over-sized sunglasses) can now be found in every mall in America. And with over-saturation comes backlash and hence, a new insult to hurl.
Just the same, the "hipster" classification isn't quite the blanket statement it once was either. Sub-genres who move in like-minded flocks are becoming much more prevalent and easier to spot. Gone are the days where the mods, the rockers, the Anglophiles, and the indie kids co-habitated in the same environments. Now there are so many dance parties, so many theme nights, and EVERYONE is a DJ. It's so hard to keep track. But have no fear, little social anthropologist! Below we have taken the guesswork out and put together this handy-dandy guide spotlighting several of the top herds that will have you running for the binoculars wanting a closer look. Do it fast, though, because you never know when one will end up on the endangered species list.

mishap Species Horny Black-Crowned Mishap
Overview Named for the popular MisShapes dance party to which it frequents.
Identification Tips Dyed-black asymmetrical shag haircut, strategically ripped tees, inexplicable face paint, tight striped tops, Danskin leotards, stupid headbands.
Mimics Pat Benatar, 80's Jazzercisers, the Ramones, Blondie (both Debbie and her boys).
Natural Habitat MisShapes at Don Hills (of course), Trash at Rififfi, LastNightsparty.com (usually half-nekid).
What to Listen For Fancies him or herself a music snob, but really just wants to hear tracks from the "Totally 80's" compilations. Secretly worships Hilary Duff.
Temperament Celebrity-obsessed and media-whore-ish, craves their 15 minutes of fame and wants it, like, NOW. The instant a camera enters the room, they can be found primping and posing, hoping to be singled out, validated, and objectified on various internet picture sites.
mod Species Double-Crested Modernist Dandy
Overview Cross-breed of 60's English mod & psychedelic peacock.
Identification Tips Male favors drainpipe trousers, brightly patterned dress shirts, silk neck scarves, white belts. Female likes primary hued party frocks, opaque tights, flat little girlie shoes, shiny structured handbags.
Mimics Jean Shrimpton, Patti Boyd, Françoise Hardy, David Bailey, Terrance Stamp, any band in the liner notes of the Nuggets boxsets.
Natural Habitat Smashed!Blocked! at Beauty Bar; on a plane, heading around the country to various Mod Weekenders; bending over crates at the record fair.
What to Listen For 60's Northern Soul & rare R&B, UK freakbeat, US garage (but only between '63 and '67, thank you very much).
Temperament Once you get past the initially elitest mentality (and their obsession with the rare Jacques Dutronc 7" they found at said record fair), you start to admire their attention to detail and complete and utter abandon on the dance floor.
metal Species Red-Faced Hair Metal-head
Overview Wishes to resurrect the debauchery of the Sunset Strip in the 80's.
Identification Tips Painted-on pants (often spandex), teased-n-sprayed-n-striped nest of hair, black eyeliner, muscle tee, neck bandana, animal printed togs.
Mimics Mid-80's era Tommy Lee, Bon Jovi, Poison, Axl Rose in "Sweet Child O' Mine" video, Lita Ford, Cher on her biggest of hair days.
Natural Habitat Sprawled out on the bathroom floor after regurgitating the day's inhalants.
What to Listen For Mötley Crüe, Guns N' Roses, Blondie, T.Rex (but not above diggin' a little Prince either).
Temperament A bit blank and slurs words because usually totally blotto on too many Heinekins. Pumps fists in the air when delighted about something.
canyon Species Western Spectacled Canyon Kid
Overview Worships the late 60's- early 70's rock scene that centered on the Laurel Canyon area of Southern Cali.
Identification Tips Dusty denim jackets, flared jeans, busted cowboy boots, rodeo shirts, long stringy hair, shoe-lace headbands, floppy hats, gypsy blouses, Gunne Sax dresses.
Mimics Pamela Des Barres, the GTO's, Stevie Nicks, Marianne Faithfull, Anita Pallenberg, Gram Parsons, extras from Easy Rider, post-Altamont Rolling Stones.
Natural Habitat Dreams of cruising down a desert highway in the sun with the top down, wavy unwashed hair blowing in the wind... but will settle for their friends' dive bar DJ nights.
What to Listen For The Flying Burrito Brothers, Big Star, the Faces, the Byrds, the Band, post-Altamont Rolling Stones.
Temperament Claims to not watch television. Never alone, always travel in tight tribes and avoid making conversation with those outside their species (ie anyone who doesn't look like one of them).

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	Species Horny Black-Crowned Mishap Overview Named for the popular MisShapes dance party to which it frequents. Identification Tips Dyed-black asymmetrical shag haircut, strategically ripped tees, inexplicable face paint, tight striped tops, Danskin leotards, stupid headbands. Mimics Pat Benatar, 80's Jazzercisers, the Ramones, Blondie (both Debbie and her boys). Natural Habitat MisShapes at Don Hills (of course), Trash at Rififfi, LastNightsparty.com (usually half-nekid). What to Listen For Fancies him or herself a music snob, but really just wants to hear tracks from the "Totally 80's" compilations. Secretly worships Hilary Duff. Temperament Celebrity-obsessed and media-whore-ish, craves their 15 minutes of fame and wants it, like, NOW. The instant a camera enters the room, they can be found primping and posing, hoping to be singled out, validated, and objectified on various internet picture sites.
	Species Double-Crested Modernist Dandy Overview Cross-breed of 60's English mod & psychedelic peacock. Identification Tips Male favors drainpipe trousers, brightly patterned dress shirts, silk neck scarves, white belts. Female likes primary hued party frocks, opaque tights, flat little girlie shoes, shiny structured handbags. Mimics Jean Shrimpton, Patti Boyd, Françoise Hardy, David Bailey, Terrance Stamp, any band in the liner notes of the Nuggets boxsets. Natural Habitat Smashed!Blocked! at Beauty Bar; on a plane, heading around the country to various Mod Weekenders; bending over crates at the record fair. What to Listen For 60's Northern Soul & rare R&B, UK freakbeat, US garage (but only between '63 and '67, thank you very much). Temperament Once you get past the initially elitest mentality (and their obsession with the rare Jacques Dutronc 7" they found at said record fair), you start to admire their attention to detail and complete and utter abandon on the dance floor.
	Species Red-Faced Hair Metal-head Overview Wishes to resurrect the debauchery of the Sunset Strip in the 80's. Identification Tips Painted-on pants (often spandex), teased-n-sprayed-n-striped nest of hair, black eyeliner, muscle tee, neck bandana, animal printed togs. Mimics Mid-80's era Tommy Lee, Bon Jovi, Poison, Axl Rose in "Sweet Child O' Mine" video, Lita Ford, Cher on her biggest of hair days. Natural Habitat Sprawled out on the bathroom floor after regurgitating the day's inhalants. What to Listen For Mötley Crüe, Guns N' Roses, Blondie, T.Rex (but not above diggin' a little Prince either). Temperament A bit blank and slurs words because usually totally blotto on too many Heinekins. Pumps fists in the air when delighted about something.
	Species Western Spectacled Canyon Kid Overview Worships the late 60's- early 70's rock scene that centered on the Laurel Canyon area of Southern Cali. Identification Tips Dusty denim jackets, flared jeans, busted cowboy boots, rodeo shirts, long stringy hair, shoe-lace headbands, floppy hats, gypsy blouses, Gunne Sax dresses. Mimics Pamela Des Barres, the GTO's, Stevie Nicks, Marianne Faithfull, Anita Pallenberg, Gram Parsons, extras from Easy Rider, post-Altamont Rolling Stones. Natural Habitat Dreams of cruising down a desert highway in the sun with the top down, wavy unwashed hair blowing in the wind... but will settle for their friends' dive bar DJ nights. What to Listen For The Flying Burrito Brothers, Big Star, the Faces, the Byrds, the Band, post-Altamont Rolling Stones. Temperament Claims to not watch television. Never alone, always travel in tight tribes and avoid making conversation with those outside their species (ie anyone who doesn't look like one of them).